Paralyzed of glad

Starting with smile.
Having a secret recipe.
Growing without plan.
Meeting nor Seeing.

You re jumping like flying
You re playing like showing

Neither we re smiling or hiding
Life used for others people.

Not ours.

love in blood

Theres no think

Theres just an liquid

When it falls, we scared

When we feel, we odd

Promise to live without promise

Do commitment say without commitment

Thats life.

We want what we wont.

DREAM

have you ever lose your lover when you really in love with him? have you ever felt so happy and sadly at the same time? here you can enjoy my writing.

Sweets Rain

             Rainy season is my favorite season. This season goes from October until march in on year, and sometimes comes late or early. Everybody has different experience about this season, because some people think that Rain can make a damage for them. They cannot go to somewhere because it makes their clothes wet and makes them get cold. But I feel composed when rain comes. I have many experiences for this case. I think, rainy season can create a sweet moment and it is the best moment to help each other.

            I really love rainy because it makes me have something new, I should go to somewhere by umbrella and share the umbrella to a stranger that do not have umbrella. I get splash by a car when I am walking in the side of the road. It is so bad but I can find this just when the raining comes. then I can feel the rain drops by heaven, It is so amazing for me because I can feel miracle by god from the rain,  god give me so many free water from the sky. And I can learn a life from raindrops.

            When rain comes, I usually do activities. I go to school by umbrella and at the common way I rarely look muddy. I often stay at home and chat with my family because it so impossible for us to go out to any places .and then  The rain gives some people bad effect and good effects depending on themselves addressing that weather. Actually all of the weather is good but this one really makes me need a warm blanked and also makes some people happy by sharing the happiness.

My thought

Time is always running so fast. My eyes that closed back to blinked, life is not the game but it was a way to make us aware of ourselves, even though everything around you may not helped you, god will be side you, give you so much experiences to make you being as a good person no matter what happened. Being individualist or loneliness person is not the same as you think about. There are so many differences about that. I am a person who often think that everything will be all right without people around me and give me shit things. Like, if you have a problem and want to share with your friend but they cannot listen and give you some advice. What will you do? Surely, you will get upset and negative thinking with them. Yep, well I did it. I always want to share my daily story with my close friend but I guess they are still do not want to care me as they could. I want to be close with them like a family but I think everyone has different problem in their life but we know that everyone needs a people who feel disposed do important things for their precious people. So the important things that you should do is be an individualist person and make yourself perfect.

 

Actually, I am so tired for all those things that already happened to me. Such as, being rejected, being annoying in the front of my crush, my new friend, and being as dull you know my lecturer said a something worst about me, I do... I always do my best for my subject and trying to not copy my friend’s assignment like my friends commonly did. But they are not really know me. What the story life that I take before they judged about me. Being rejected if I am hanging out with my collage friend, I don’t know all thing that they said about but I prefer to adjust their knowledge as could as I can. Sometimes I am trying to search what they are looking about on Google like a new movies, a news, or something like gossip. Being annoying in the front of my crush’s eyes, I never ever have a relationship with a boy yeah you know I am so afraid to know more about that flirting relationship. I mean relationship for me is not something that we could play and will end with tears only. It must have an important basis like commitment, responsibility and sincere heart. When I meet my crush, I am kind’s looks so awkward I am too shy to talk with him. I never do first conversation with him but he is always do it first. My act is kind of fool girls. I want him not as my boyfriend only but want to be his future. What should I do if I do bad behavior often? I don’t have any idea to solve it.
Sometimes we know that the teacher or the lecture just see their perspective from what they looking for. example you are just a quite person, it does not mean you can not know anything. you have any different knowledge such as good at writing a narrative story or editing some nature photo. I say a lot in here I mean just want to open your eyes. everyone has different ability to show their action or to increase their talent.so, stop trying to judge something that you are not know yet before you understand it in the depth. I have an experience; my friend is someone who never do cheating for all things and at the time when we have a test. she gives her answer's text to my second friend. and our lecturer was really give her a punishment like announcing to the whole class that she is cheating, even though she really did not do that. how was irony she is. then our lecture is never ever believing to her anymore. we just needs a person we only need honest people. and you do not judge a person by what we sees. using the five senses that exist, then we will know his real behavior

SHORT STORY

Chapter 2

Regret

Have you ever felt your world destroyed instantly? You did not take anything that you want. Your life was always like a shadow by your darkness at past. Imagine! Your dad died in front of your eyes, and then you did not forgive his mistake. My life was full of grudge. No more tender and sincere feelings I have ever felt. All I wanted right now, I have to find someone who killed my dad that was the only way I would not regret it again.

I shouted myself up after the incident. My mom was very worried about me and people around me doing the same thing like her. She visited me once a week to see and take care of me, Daniel who was my friend always come every day to make sure my condition, He was a very trusted friend. But I feel like lost direction to move on. I wanted to find someone who ran into my dad, but I could not bear to blame myself for everything that happened. My dad gave me a letter when he breathed his last.

“Don’t read his letter again. No more!” he sit in front of me. I was hiding her letter and trying smile to him. And take her breakfast.

            “I don’t read his letter... I just read a postcard from my mom” I lied.

“You shouldn’t lie to me... I know who you are! It doesn’t make a sense that you are not forgiving yourself and thinking about your dad death. You should move on and find that bastard ones!” Daniel was a little annoyed and took the letter I hid behind the pillow.

“Uhmm… your meal so good… you should make it for me every day!!!” I laughed and ate it.

“Don’t distract what we discussed about” He punched my cheek.

“Let’s go outside. I have a plan to find that bastard ones” I shocked, and He played his key’s car.

I agreed with him, then went out of the apartment and go somewhere that I did not know yet, wait! I mean I did not know, Daniel will take me wherever I went. When I wanted to get into the car, I see Evan with his girlfriend wanted to enter the lift apartment. Glenn suddenly told me to get in the car immediately. And on our way he just stayed silent and focused on driving the car. I know he did not want to answer a lot of questions I had been wanting to ask. Why Evan was there? What was this? What happened after so many centuries I did not get out of the room? For so many centuries? It might be said that way. But I will keep it. And then I passed some tall trees, the weather was very nice and fresh. I really enjoyed this trip.

“Please, calm down... We will meet that guy” He said.

“Who? Is he someone who killed my dad “I was replied. And he frowned his head.

“We’ll see. Okay?” He opened his car, He smiled.

It really confused me. how could  Daniel found the culprit who hit my father, it was impossible especially since I confined myself in the room he was always busy taking care of my needed. My head was dizzy thinking about it, now I just have to wait him to answer from all my questions.

A few minutes later I arrived at a very quiet town there wasn’t a citizen that will doing something, it was still afternoon. Was it possible on afternoon they have stopped their activities? I walked into that town and tried to find what we was looking for.

            “I guess there is no one will welcoming that we here...”I said

“As I know… you always be like that…you are always seeing the situation without understanding what was in there...” He said and walked into that town.

“I just like gray… I can’t see anything… not anymore” I stopped following him, I stared his back and he was walking over me and touch my cheeks.

“I know what you feel… I know you tough! Just following me right now okay? I’ll stay you safe.” He said.

He was holding my hand and going to a place that I never knew where was there, I was like emptied body and my soul was gone. I didn’t know what I should do since it happened. My lover was gone, you know he was trying to kill me slowly and also my dearest father was regretted by me. All the things that happened surely because of me, I just like a shit.

The clouds was mostly going darkness, there was no lamp and no one people around us. I used a flashlight to become a light of our path. I was not scared here, I was enjoying this situation maybe I felt so reasonable to be here, it was my home.

“I bring you here because I know what you did… what you was felt… I have a reason to bring you here it because I want to be like you… living in a darkness world. And I came here to help you… you should forget the man who killed your father… forget about your crush who never care about you, probably he killed you slowly.” He hugged me. He cried and his body shake. He felt what I felt. He knew what I knew. He never let me stand alone. He tried to safe me from fucking world in outside.

note : Sorry for this disappointed story.

POTRAIT